One Hell of a Ride!

I was with Noy Noy and April last night. We decided to catch some testosterone-filled flick after an erratic week at work. What else can bring out all the testosterone in you than gigantic robots fighting each other and some really hot chick that can make you drool right there and then? Yes Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen it is!

Amidst the heightened gastronomic delight that I was on with my favorite apple-raisin-cinnamon strudel (some people prefer popcorn and chips I or should I say we on the other hand beg to differ!), we noticed something odd about the movie...and here's our conversation:

Me: Are we in a wrong room? Cuz I feel like we're watching Apocalypto (this is at the prologue of the movie where ancient people...oh I hate that word!...were running in their painted bodies as they were clasping some spears as if they're going to a pre-civilization war or something).

But as soon as Her Royal Hotness lit up the screen, I was relieved. Yes this is indeed Transformers. I felt like my dormant other X chromosome was just awakened by the sight of her. Whew!

Noy: Is that party within the campus? Of course, It's a movie!....what are you doing? Megan Fox is waiting (for their online date)! You just made her cry. I'll kill you (men...men..men).

Prior to that...

Me: Ah! The Law of Conservation of Energy. Is it Newton's? I think not. Sounds like Einstein's Relativity Theory.

April: Hahaha! Physics? Miss Sulleza will be proud of you.

Me: (on the scene where they have aircraft carriers all over the screen where some freaky-looking robots plunged into the ocean to check on Megatron). Look there's Davy Jones! Is this Pirates of the Caribbean? Where's Jack Sparrow?!

Noy: They should have thrown him (Megatron) down near the Philippines. It's the second deepest right? (Is he referring to the Philippine Deep? I don't get him sometimes but who cares? It's nice to know that there are some breathing A people around).

Later....

April: Now this is something like National Treasure. They're going around looking for signs.

Me: Or Angels and Demons!

Noy: Haven't seen the phones they're using in the movie yet.

April: It's because they transform!

Me: This is now The Mummy (the scene in Egypt).

Before that....

April: Where the hell they get those bandages? (wrapped on Sam's right hand).

Me: They teleported with a first aid kit!

April: Now they do have flashlights. Each one of them.

Me: They brought that one too!

Near the conclusion of the movie....

Me: Have you seen her nails? It's awful!

April: (after a few seconds when Megan flashed her Frenched-tipped nails which fortunately survived the mechanical holocaust) Yes you're right!

Noy: How did you managed to see that?! (looks puzzled)

The credits are now showing on screen.

Me: I told ya it's Michael Bay.

Noy: And they also have George Lucas?! (as a producer)

Me: It's not cheap to make all those cars and jets transform you gotta have $$$$...lots of 'em!

The Verdict:

The movie was like a collage of all the movies I've seen. It's like an expensive Scary Movie. It's a movie consists of several movies where there are more robots than humans. So this is what happens when machines dominate the world...pretty scary! Glad Megan was there to keep us all entertained. She did a great job...just some minor flaws with the nails though.

More paranoia coming up...

I received a text message from my ed last night while I was in the middle of my 3-hour self-imposed peril. To make the former statement comprehensible to all. I was at the gym for my 3-hour program despite the fact that I was on the verge of bursting into tears while trying to grasp some extra air as I carefully execute the hardest of all exercises in my program - the declined abdominal crunches - and did I mention that I was having...no make that...I still have that DOMS (delayed-onset muscle soreness). Phew! I can feel my muscles go wacko! I can't even breathe without feeling that excruciating pain that makes me swear not to eat fatty and carbo-packed foods again.

Going back, I received a text message from my ed. She was asking if what's my favorite charity and I went like uhmmmm....(like a total moron). Finally, I replied: "I was once a member (not technically since I never received an ID from them) of Greenpeace Southeast Asia. I'm not involved with any charity or any specific organization right now but I would love to join the kind that helps special children." Before that, I can hear me and my other self having a heated argument inside my head. The first one wants to join an organization for cancer patients because as she rationalizes it, my mom died of cancer but then the other me kept on saying "You have a better potential helping children with special needs because you once were special. Actually, you still are. You just don't realize it. People just don't realize it because you seem normal to them but deep down you still possess those autistic traits which are only evident when you're reading or writing that's why people...." End of discussion. I smashed the formidable duo before they can say another word and start a nuclear holocaust that would extinguish all life forms.

But the charity text wasn't the end...just this morning, I received another message from my ed. She wants me to write the cover story for the August ish. First there was the 3-page centerfold which I coined as "unfamiliar territory" and then a cover story! Whew! The last one caused me a week long insomnia. This one I guess will definitely obliterate REM (not the band! rapid-eye-movement...if you're a sleepy head, I'm pretty sure you didn't miss this one) from my system. But as a part of my masochistic act, I said yes to my ed.

Cookin' another online-haven

I've been in an insomniac state for a week now. I don't exactly know why. Perhaps it's my hormones messing up with me again. They always do that. Not a very unusual happening for me. And so I was there, trying to count sheep, bears, ants and who-knows-what-else just to keep my mind away from the hustle and bustle of my wonderfully chaotic life when a brilliant idea (I'm not sure if it's really brilliant but hey I just need a positive adjective to lighten up my depressive mood) - Why not create an online notebook that would contain almost anything about my profession? It's like an online notebook. Hence, I dubbed it as my online PT notes click here to browse ---> myonlineptnotes.

It's not much. Well actually it's still empty at this point but I am gathering everything that I can recall from my 5 years of dedication (uh...I think that's not the right word) to my studies (now I'm laughing really hard). As to why in the world did I concoct such idea? The answer is still hazy. But I must admit that I was drawn to the peculiarity of the idea. Nah! Here's the real deal...I just want my students to pick a little of my not-so-brainy brain and to...say...immortalize my notebooks which I discovered just recently that the pages transformed from a pristine white ecru.

Contributors Page Dilemma

I received a text message from my ed today. We were asked to write something for the contributors page. It's more of describe-you-self-in-90-words kind of thing. Well this is what Miss Jane Doe has to say about her erratic self:

A rabid Zafra follower and a self-confessed Victoria’s Secret aficionado, Janice is a physiotherapist by profession and a blogger by heart. Although she’s been into the media circle since she worked for The News Today as a desk editor and as a writer for the 2007 Iloilo Yearbook, she admits that writing for this month’s home feature (Touched to Perfection) is one of the toughest assignments she ever had. “I haven’t written anything about homes because I don’t exactly know what to do but I took the opportunity anyway. I like challenging myself. Plus I’m excited to be reunited with my TNT family!” says Janice who has been blogging ever since she went into sabbatical writing-wise.

As if I really know how to write about homes.....whatever!

The vid that would send Lady Gaga into hiding. Exclusive!

This one is an amateur vid of my intoxicated unica hija (my intern). Lady Gaga will definitely go gaga over this one. Have fun!

Hope the Ed won't kill me

I just emailed my contribution for the July ish of Mezzo. I'm not sure if my ed will like it 'coz honestly, I think it sucks. Have I lost my writing prowess? Nah! 'Coz I have no writing prowess in the first place. lol! But I'm pretty sure I followed her instructions - no names and not more than 800 words. I kinda fail on the latter though 'coz all in all my article is made up of 830 words but I am confident that it will be less than 800 soon when my editor cuts all the crappy things I wrote. It'll probably end up with 300 words or less. Oh no! But it was the best that I can squeeze out from my almost atrophied brain. I haven't been writing for months..uhhh...make that years and coming up with a 3-page article on a glossy paper and perhaps on the centerfold is just too much for a wanna-be writer whose works are not worthy to be reckoned. I have to say that once again I'm exposing my meager reputation to the public to be whacked (again) by some critics. Criticism is good right? But the thought of being a subject of public scrutiny is technically debilitating. Believe me you don't want to go out on the streets again after being whacked it's as if you're walking naked with grade 4 decubitus ulcer on almost every bony prominences. It's painful. It stinks and most of all it makes you invisible in a not-so-good way.

But hey! too late for all those egocentric concerns. I'll just have to wait for an email from my ed which says: Rewrite everything or change this one or find a better title...or worst - YOU'RE FIRED!

Everything in 5!

Here are my top 5 picks of almost everything in the face of this world:

Best Reads:
1. J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye
2. Jessica Zafra's Twisted Series
3. Bob Ong's Stainless Longganisa (this one is for a thriving writer...like me? hehehehe)
4. Dan Brown's Angels and Demons
5. Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird

Best Careers:
1. Writer (i told ya)
2. Neurologist
3. Psychiatrist
4. Chemist
5. Photographer

Favorite Authors:
1. J.D. Salinger (I like the first person approach)
2. Edgar Allan Poe
3. Jane Austen (of Pride and Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility)
4. Jose Rizal (for Noli and El Fili)
5. Jessica Zafra (hail the master of the universe!)

Worst People:
1. Paris Hilton (and her cadaverous look)
2. Women who kill their unborn child
3. Men who regard themselves as the lord of the universe
4. Those who regard physiotherapists as masahista or manghihilot
5. -----this space is still vacant----- should you want your name to appear here, contact me.

Reasons why you should stop watching the local news:
1. Very seldom you can find the truth in it. They're either exaggerated or biased.
2. The Kho-Halili scandal. It turns us all into preening voyeurs.
3. They keep on showing gory videos of dead people, human wastes floating somewhere in the previously-clean-now-the-unofficial-dump-site of people we know as squatters, and children with colostomy while you're having a scrumptious meal after a long day at work.
4. It's predictable - movie stars (who just had a boob job, broke up with who, hooking up with who, just had an abortion but denied it anyway, Kris Aquino, more Kris Aquino...pft!), PTBPO as in Pinoys To Be Proud Of (it means Charice Pempengco...Charice and more of Charice. Also includes Manny Pacqiuao and Aling Dionisia) politics, EDSA 100 raised to the nth power, more politicians doing a great job on this and that, politician marrying a top anchorwoman...great! the list goes on and on, redundantly.
5. Your electric bill is killing you, engulfed almost 50% of your monthly income.

Best TV Series:
1. CSI (this includes Las Vegas, Miami and NY)
2. Wire in the Blood (aired on Hallmark Channel)
3. NCIS (aired on Foxcrime Asia)
4. House (yes! the one with the sarcastic doctor and his unorthodox ways)
5. Medium (stars Patricia Arquet)

Worst Pick-up Lines:
1. "Your dad must have been a thief. He stole the stars and put them into your eyes." (this one makes me cringe)
2. This one goes like this:
Guy: "Can I have your number?"
Girl: "I don't have a phone"
Guy: "I can give you mine"
Girl: Slammed the door.
3. "What's for lunch? You can order ME if you want."
4 and 5. ----still waiting---- so don't ever get it wrong or else you'll see it here...yes your own word right here.

Worst Movies:
1. Chapter 27 (stars Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan). A biopic about Mark Chapman and his assassination of the late John Lennon. Why it sucks? Watch to see why this is on my top list.
2. Angel's and Demons (a film by Ron Howard. based on a novel by Dan Brown. Stars Tom hanks and Ewan McGregor...no this is not a sequel to Broke Back Mountain). Why it sucks? Tom Hanks is a terrible Robert Langdon. EWan McGregor is too hot to be in the Vatican. Ayelet Zurer made you wish you spent your time in a salon instead. Yes she's the funny-sounding Vittoria Vetra from CERN in the movie.
3. Da Vinci Code - Why it sucks? It's 2 counts of first degree murder! They killed both Langdon and Brown. Poor me.
4. House - this has nothing to do with the arrogant doctor and his sarcasm. Why it sucks? This is a supposedly horror movie which didn't scare me at all. Nothing to be scared of in this movie except for the movie itself. If all movies are made like this one, the cinema industry will forever perish in the fires of hell. Plot is weak. The actors are even weaker as if they all have MS. Don't watch it it's not worth your time!
5. An indie movie which fortunately enough I can't remember the title. It's about a gay husband, his sexually-deprived wife, and of course the man that they (both the husband and wife) shared. Why it sucks? It stars people whose name are not worthy to be recalled but who are willing to take off their clothes to satisfy your id. Although it deals with real family issues (like lack of sex for example), it's too much for the Pinoy audiences. I don't think that I know someone who can do what they all did in the movie (I mean plot-wise). Hey, I was just invited by the PR people to watch the movie...ah Troika. That's the title. The perks of writing I must say though I wish the perks do not include watching butt-naked people.

Some of the hundred reasons why you should be depressed.

I am having a terrible time battling with my depressive episode (it's sounds clinical when depression is said in this manner. Don't you think?). So, I am inviting more and more people out there to join me in my quest by pointing out some possible reason why you should be melancholic as I am.

1. Angels and Demons (the movie) almost made you cry because it fell short of your expectations. You feel like they murdered Dan Brown right in front of you. Yes you can even smell the blood. Seeing Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon almost caused you a Prinzmetal angina attack. As if it was not enough, the girl who played Vittoria made you wanna pee every ten minutes. Then you saw Ewan McGregor in a habit. You fainted.

2. You go to your favorite salon to get your monthly hair spa. You noticed that every guy you came across with were sporting a straight anime-like do. Some influences from the Koreans, you muttered. You sat on your beauty chair. Women of all ages were sporting a familiar bob. Then your hairstylist smiled and said "I know you want to have your hair done like Katrina. Some men came here to get that Hayden look."

3. You're having your dinner at home, a special one with your favorite dessert and some wine because after all you worked really hard (this day in particular). You turned the TV on to see the latest news. You're just in time. They flashed a video of a dead body enclosed in a steel cabinet after it was tossed in the middle of the ocean two years ago. You just lost your appetite.

4. You're married to a rich good-looking man for so long. You're living a happy married life except that his philandering caused you your health. You just found out that you have one of those STDs. You called your lawyer only to find out that he's sleeping with your husband and your marriage was a fraud. (this one is a work of fiction. Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are not).

5. You voted for Congressman X last election. You even vouched for his honesty and cause. Yesterday, you went to his office to ask for a little favor. He looked at you and said this in his monotone voice "I'm sorry but I'm still not done with your wife. Try calling back later."

6. You've been working your ass on the upcoming product launching. You even broke up with your boyfriend because he claimed that you do not spend enough time with him. You canceled your 7:00 pm meeting with another client because finishing this project was your main objective. Then suddenly your boss tells you that you're off the team because Miss X from the main office will fill in your shoe. He then gives you the project which you often refer to as "of utmost abhorrence."

7. Your then-boyfriend redundantly rejects every possible option that you've offered to save the almost-4 years of being together. You begged, cried and even contorted your already misshaped personality to cater his need for space and soul-searching. He heroically claimed that he's just not yet ready to commit (now that's really awful). No e-mails, no calls, no messages from him. Then you realized that he gladly entertains messages from "a friend" who fondly gives him all his whims that you cannot possibly afford and tells you that he doesn't like her juggling-guys acts. You know you're not a moron so you think of more swabe ways to deal with things. After all, he already summoned all his minions to make people think that you're the real-deal b*tch. So you tried to OD yourself with some OTC drugs you bought weeks ago. Then something came up. You opted to reschedule the grand finale. ( this one too is a work of fiction. Only 1,2, and 3 are based on facts).

Manic-Depressive

I always suspect that something is wrong with what's inside my skull. After a period of self-loathing (I think after is a bit inappropriate because I still do that even up to this time but with decreasing frequency. Which could only mean two things - either the prognosis is good or maybe I just grew tired of doing the same thing over and over again), I came to realize that maybe there's a truth behind all my suspicions. So I started scouring my clouded judgment and started to look deeper into some self-inflicted issues.

After doing some really grueling research and reading and more reading, I am finally convinced that I am indeed a manic-depressive or as what most would call it a bipolar but of course I'd like to think that it's not pathological otherwise I'll be compelled to sit with my shrink (I don't have one yet so if you're interested please send me your resume) or to pop some elite-sounding pills.

For starters, bipolar is a mood disorder with some episodes of mania or hypomania and some depressive episode in which either of them occurs after the other or if you're lucky enough you experience both at the same time. I haven't experienced the latter, not yet, but I guess I've been through both hypomania and depression. If you're living in such crazy world like ours, who wouldn't? The Koh-Halili scandal and politician on a pedicab are enough to cause schizophrenia. Even the weather is bipolar. That's according to Zafra with some insights from Charlie, Al Gore's angel.

Despite all the researches and the readings, I'm still in doubt if my manic-depressive behavior can be considered as clinical. I mean do I fit in any of the categories? My bet is that I fall in the "hypomanic episode". This one is a bit common to all since it does not involve any delusions or hallucinations. Makes sense to me.

Although it is clear to me that indeed I maybe a bipolar, there's this one thing that baffles me - how come I haven't shaved my head yet? I haven't thought of it. NEVER!

I'm not proud that I am a possible candidate for a manic-depressive personality but if that would explain my horrendous mood swings then let it be. A lot of people have the same personality I bet. They just remained under the radar. Undiagnosed that is. And guess what?! Virginia Woolf, the famed novelist, and Ludwig van Beethoven, the composer, are just few of the hundreds and probably thousands of people who have had a bipolar personality.

Other bipolars include: Kurt Cobain the musician, Patricia Cornwell the crime writer, Charles Dickins (of course you know him), Carrie Fisher the actress (Trinity in the Matrix), Macy Gray (you know her right?), Ernest Hemingway the writer (again), Jack Irons former drummer of Red Hot Chili Pepper and Pearl Jam, Ben Moody of Evanescence, Sir Isaac Newton (now tell me who doesn't want to be a manic-depressive?), Florence Nigthingale the nurse, Ozzy Osbourne of the Black Sabbath, Edgar Allan Poe (no wonder I like his works so much), Sidney Sheldon (the list just got better), Mark Twain the author of Huckleberry Fin among others (will somebody please officially diagnose me now!), and Vincent van Gogh [sighs]...[sighs some more].

Even Jean-Claude van Damme is a bipolar. Does he kick people when his in a manic episode and cry when he's depressed? Just wondering. lol! (I'm having a hypomania episode right now...shhhhh...). and Oh! Don't forget Ben Stiller, Alanis Morisette, and (who else?) Britney Spears. They're on the list too!

Paid THE Martian a visit

I've been in reverse isolation writing-wise and now I'm back (not official yet but I guess this my rise-of-the-living-dead moment). As a part of my contribution to the July issue of Mezzo, I was asked to write something about homes and as a tiny part of that I thought of dropping by my former office to pick up some materials from my former ed...who else but the ever childish and well Martian-like Erly whose profession as a lawyer (not yet but soon he will take the bar exam) still gives me the chills...kidding. You're probably wondering at this point why I kept calling him as "the Martian". Well, here's the story.....

Years ago when he was my ever understanding editor and I was his encoder-cum-desk-editor-slash-writer, he was a little hot-tempered really grumpy 30-something guy the kind that you would vote as the most-likely-to-become-the-Grinch in your high school yearbook (sorry I have to write that...will bring some snack for you next time....my peace offering). So together with Roselle, our really hot marketing assistant, I concocted a brilliant strategy to make this not-so-young fella (sorry again) laugh at least a couple times a day. Before Martian (the complete nick was Marvin The Martian...you know that green guy), there came Osh Kosh (this one is a tribute to a children's clothing brand...gave him that nick because he frequently wears shirts that looked like size 14...nah maybe 12 ...children's sizes of course...clothing which made him looked like a promising lawyer trapped in a kid's body..which is actually weird and funny at the same time). Yeah I know...me and my demented yet creative mind.

I like the Marvin thingy though. Wanna know why? Because each time he turns into this grumpy neurotic ed, I can always color the areas around his eyes black and top it with some green head gear. It usually makes my day and Roselle's day a lot better. Nyahaha. I know you're reading Erly!

Important: Erly is now a pleasant gentleman who still loves to hang out and still enjoys a bottle of cold beer and who-knows-what-else. He's no longer grumpy and hot-tempered but he is still a 30-something Osh Kosh and THE only Martian that I've ever met!

I just learned that...

....reading is far off better or I must say always better than watching it on the big screen. This one is so true with the Dan Brown novels and their movie adaptations. Ron Howard is a good director and Tom Hanks is an accomplished actor. No doubt about that. But when Brown's most riveting novel was played on the big screen, things changed as if I feel a little disappointed by it. I was actually. I don't know if it's just me trying to convince myself that my imagination is far better than Howard's or those of other Hollywood big wigs' or I was just into Brown much that I almost made him invincible. (sighs). I was looking forward to that part where they should have said something about the priest who had a baby with a woman without breaking his vow. It wasn't there. And Tom Hanks can't be Robert Langdon. He's been Langdon since Da Vinci Code but he can never (and when I say never it's always irreversible) convince me that he is a professor of Symbology. I was his fan back when he was this chocolate-eating retard in Forest Gump but lately he constantly disappoints me. I think if Anthony Hopkins wasn't too good as Dr. Lecter he would have been my choice but then again Langdon is always running on the streets and seldom change his clothing (not to mention that he barely takes a shower in the movie) Hopkins' joints will have a hard time filling Langdon's shoes. How about William Petersen (Gil Grissom of CSI)? He looks and acts more like a brainy professor. What the heck! Langdon will forever be stucked in Hank's body in the big screen anyway. Stop whining! Unless you're a Hollywood bigwig and you can invest millions of dollars in the business then you can say something that will change things otherwise all your efforts won't matter. But I must say I find Ewan McGregor a rather HOT Carmelengo. He's too hot to be in that habit...too scorching to be a part of the Vatican. Will somebody please turn the fan on!

....Angelina Jolie is a Gemini! I always worry about being a Gemini. Not that I really cared about astrology at all but sometimes what's written in those horoscope websites as general attributes of such sign is kinda true and a bit uniform to all Geminis that I know (at least). Well, Geminis are always known for their hurricane like mood-swings and their unpredictable and uncanny way of thinking and of course the "dual nature." I always thought I'm some sort of a psycho. Someone who likes opposites and often contradicting things in life. I always thought that I am THE weirdo...the ONLY weirdo out there that is. But things changed since I met a couple of self-confessed lunatic Geminis at work. They're both bubbly just like me but they sure both have the unpredictable and hence often-occurring mood swings that my then-boyfriend often complain about. Plus they too have their need for "moments of silence" and we all enjoy shedding some tears for not-so-worthy things or issues from time to time. Whew! Whatta relief! Now, I feel a lot better. A lot normal. I don't believe much in astrology but pretty sure I believe that there's someone out there who is just like me or maybe who's far crazier than I am.

....I'll be writing for Mezzo, a local lifestyle magazine, for their July issue. I'll be filling 3 pages of the said magazine with everything that I haven't met before in my entire life. Of course, I was just exaggerating. Honestly speaking though I don't feel like I'm THE go-to person for the home part of the mag. I mean what do I know about foyers, porches, furniture, and walk-in closets (except that the latter should be filled with shoes, trinkets, and fragrances..and more fragrances perhaps?) NOTHING! I'm quite nervous about this one but I just can't say no to my former publisher and my once editor plus I know very well that the mag is a good one. Now there comes the real problem. The mag is a blast...the best in the region if you ask me (of course, if it's from TNT it has to be great!)...but I know very well that I am not that good. Sure I've been blogging for quite sometime now but hey blogging is blogging and serious writing is serious writing. I don't want to piss off the people who own such a marvelous abode. It's serious writing and I've never been serious for a while. Yes I've been reading Zafra, Harper Lee, Dante and J.D Salinger but these people haven't written a thing about homes. Nothing that I know of at least. We're done with the photo shoot and the interview which I feel like I really got everything wrong like I asked inadequate questions but it's too late to give up anyway and that would make my oh-I'm-not-the-right-person-for-this speech futile. It's too late for blah blahs and honestly I don't have time for that. My deadline is fast approaching. Time is ticking. Gotta kill some brain cells. Ta-ta!

Why is life complicated?

Imagine a world conceived in peace and harmony. A planet where everything is perfect. A society full of superheroes without any villains. Boring right? It's like playing the Beethoven's Fifth Symphony over and over again until your ears bleed and you end up loosing one of your six senses just like him. At first it would be calming to hear something new. It's like finding that secret hideaway but eventually things will start to feel lame and then you'll find yourself at war with your inner demons trying to keep that one sacred sanity of yours. And then you suddenly had this tremendous urge to end the silence, the goodness, the perfect society you've been wanting to have. But why? Because you are a self-destructive creature. A divine creation who purpose is not only to coexist with others but also to outwit them. You are a masterpiece bound not only to be the greatest but also has the tendency to be a weapon of mass destruction to others. You are human. You make mistakes and no matter what you do to correct your wrongdoings it will forever be etched on your flesh.

They say that everything in this world come in pairs - day and night, yin and yang, you and me, light and darkness, good and evil. And so there's chaos and order...one cannot live without the other. We would never know about peace when there's no war. We would never know what order is like if we've never seen chaos. Life is complicated because it was meant to be like that. Life is complicated because we, the people living it, is. Life is complicated because we want it to be. We want to have fun and be happy and to know what happiness is we must first know what loneliness and sadness really means. So if your life is too complicated, don't panic. Take a deep breath and say....it must be otherwise it'll be boring.

Re-2-K!

a pair

cornered

shadow

cubes

never been replaced

alone but never lonely

elliptical

bricked

Hue Village

weekends

Yummy

Green with envy

melting

Living in a crazy world

twisted by twisted

buhay probinsya

chit chat says the cat

PLMSC Family Day!

What's wrong Ruthie?

Info Babes...Candy, Reyn, and Ruth

All star cast. Reyn with Alexa, me, Kharen, Jojo A., Jojo L. and Alex

Grace and Candy

Oakley people: Jojo and Ched

Miss Jade. This is what Lab people do when they're all sick and tired of bloods and serums.

with Sir Yufo, Miss Ched, and Doc Barredo

Gracie and Ruthie...having a great time!

Lovely...

Yufo's Angels :)

From Melrose's Treasure Box

sleepy? kinda.

We're waiting for our pizza.

Louie took this one....taking a break from another long night of self-inflicted insomnia.

This one was from Mimi Young. Beth and Mark's post wedding party @ Club 21 with Mimi, Beth, and Yen

Valentine's Day breakfast with Dee and Melrose.

McFlurry!

Cookies from Dee :)

Forget 23rd. Pretend as if it never happened.

This is not my first and definitely not my last. I've been in this situation before. Actually, I'm pretty sick and tired of it. I've seen the best and experienced the worst...well that's what they are - men. Little creatures of vices...rabid believers of transient episodes...infamous beings with astounding catabolic powers to destroy perfection. Ah men! The mini-composite of irony...the indestructible epitomes of freedom and of bondage...the living replicas of the unnecessary. Yes men...the genetic line that spells egocentricity...the walking chromosomes who dominate the world by dragging everyone to the Church of Paternalistic Belief.

Men...they once adored us...once possessed us...once loved us...once showered us with utmost bliss...once made us miss the entire planetary revolution...once made us believe that we can actually defy gravity..once fooled us to believe that we're nothing without them.

Men...they crushed our egos...they made our lives miserable...they inflicted us with pain that we cannot possibly forget...they sent us to Armageddon powerless...they took all the love that we have and left us with nothing but an empty soul.

Men...the catalysts for our transformation...the primary witnesses to our metamorphosis ...the beings to which we owe much of our coexistence to...the same beings who we sometimes wish to have never existed at all.

Men...we might need them...we may not...we might care for them again...we may not...we might open our hearts for this strange creatures...we may not...it matters less...what scares me is the fact that they're just around lurking until another doomsday is set to happen...and it just arbitrarily happens...no warning signals...no chance to contemplate.

Unsuspecting Subjects

"Melt"

"Caged"

"Captured"


"White"

"Black"

"Flora"

"Stillness"

"Mace"

"Yellows"

"Solitude"

"Alone"

"Captivating"

"Windy"

"Prince 2"

"Atis"

"Prince"

"Princess"

"Raymund"

Mini Me

People at my new workplace call me Noemi and I dunno until a colleague told me that I look like Noemi Oinezu, one of the cast of a kid show from a local network called Goin Bulilit. Patients, their folks, students and even random strangers agree that we indeed have some similarities. I know it's weird to be compared (on the physical proportionality at least) to a celeb but I never thought it's far more than weird when you're being compared to a kid...and even a bit creepy when you're twenty-something and you don't have the faintest idea what the hell the kid looks like. Believe me!

So what I did was I spent sometime browsing some pics of Goin' Bulilit cast members on the Internet. It's ridiculous I know but I have to see it to believe it. You just can't convince me by merely pleading with all your heart, soul, intestines and the rest of your body parts...I have to see it! And so I did and I found this one....
I laughed out really hard when I saw this one. It's like staring on my grade school pic. Actually, it's more of staring at thousand of my own DNA strands...like millions and millions of those protein helix....I'm staring at me right now...and it makes me wanna flip out and swim across the Iloilo Strait. Lol!

Post Dinagyang

Dinagyang is finally over amd you might be wondering why I haven't written any about it here on my page. Well, that's because this year's Dinagyang has a more...let's say....emotional effect on me and I'd rather prefer not to discuss it here.

There were 17 tribes who vied for the most coveted title as a Grand Champion. In the end it was Tribu Paghidaet (Peace) who bagged the title and who will represent the city in the upcoming Aliwan Festival.

Party-wise, I had some fun but wasn't able to party that hard. Unlike most Dinagyang where I you can almost see me on every event (not to mention that I come home almost always late), this year's celebration (for me at least) was one of the mellowest. For starters, I wasn't able to witness the first day of the Fireworks Display. I had to travel to the North for a planned vigil. Ice's mom died couple of days before her birthday and as her closest friend I traded a night of fun and excitement for some prayers and some chat with high school friends. Saturday night was fun. We watched 10 shooters from Bulacan, Mindanao, Iloilo, and Dumaguete as they painted the night sky with magnificent fireworks. We headed to Smallville after that, had some coffee, saw some familiar faces, and finally decided to drop by a concert on the Boardwalk. We all went home before midnight after that.

Dinagyang day was a fun day. People are all in a merry mood. It made me think if there'll be parties and beers all day then world peace will be an arm away from being fulfilled. We had a VIP seat on the 2nd judging area(fronting the old capitol)....thanks to Tita Moms! We sat there with some local and national big wigs such as Bayani Fernando (speculations are spreading that he'll be running for presidency), Senator Migs Zubiri, Senator Bong Revilla (one of those TV personality-turned-politicians), the Governor and his family. It wasn't a wise choice for a seat though. Strategically, it is a nice and comfy place to watch all the tribe strut their stuff but it was like an undiscovered war zone. If there was some sort of an assassination plot on any of those seated there, I might be one of those unlucky bystander and unwilling recipient of those extra bullets or who knows maybe a few shrapnels from a home-made bomb. But I was glad that the whole thing ended up peacefully and hey....I get to go home unharmed!

I spent the Dinagyang night with Eah. We had dinner with some college friends before she and Tita Flor and Tito Jing go back home to LA. She had this explosive news....she's preggers!!!!! She and Jude just tied the knot. Now, they're a family!

So, that basically all of it! Nothing fancy. Nothing extraordinary.

By the way, for those who want to join Iloilo Bloggers you can log on to www.iloilobloggers.com and fill up the membership form there. And please leave your name or url when you write on my chat box so that I can address you properly or see your page as well. Thanks a lot for reading all my crap here. Tee Cee!

Judeah's Big Day!

Mr. and Mrs. Judeah Sortigosa Talaver

L-R: Lemuel, Arne, Joy, Theresa, Janice, and Raymund

wih Joy

with Arne and Joy

With Lemuel, Joy and Teray

a pose with the bride

The Emancipation of Maria Clara

I am watching the CSI supreme episode as write this. It is how I spend most of my Sunday or sometimes Saturday nights. It is like your mojito or let us says margarita or perhaps a dry martini on the nearby bar. The only difference is that I can sip mine from a director’s chair while typing these words and listening to Horatio or Grissom. Nevertheless, of course, that is not of any relevance to what I am going to tell you. Well, this is all about me. You must have guessed that somehow unless of course if you’re a self-destructive moron. I know you’re not otherwise you won’t be on that seat reading somebodyelse’s blog so keep reading.

I have been in existence for over a quarter of a century now. If you are trying to derive my real age from my date of birth, you can stop now because I assure you that your efforts will be futile but if you insist go on then just remember that you have been warned. You can speculate all you want. Don’t worry it’s absolutely free of charge.

I have been perpetually blogging for over a year now and I think I will be for a very long time. I am planning to change things. Not that I don’t like the way I am right now it’s just that I want be bolder this time. In fact, I like myself so much that I want the whole world to see the real me.

I am a ghost. You got it right. I am a nobody just like the rest of the people in the face of this planet. I am a normal human being so listen to what I have to say. You can read my story or criticize my thoughts if you want. Who knows? I maybe you.

I was born to see the world from a different perspective. Unlike most kids, I have the unhappy and perhaps the most boring childhood. I never had toys. I never had playmates. My idea of playing was sitting on a branch of a dying tree while making up some sort of sick fairytales or wondering about the things around me and oftentimes I would interact with myself. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a psycho. I guess that is what people do when they are alone and a bit lonely, they pretend that they are not. We’re all good at that but I guess I never grew out of it. Now, I am stuck and I became this pretentious and boring individual though I must admit that I can be annoying sometimes. Well, the world is full of annoying creatures, isn’t it? I guess it only proves that I still belong here. Whew!

I grew up with big dreams and high hopes. Once I wanted to be a scientist locked up on my lab somewhere in a basement of an old house. There were instances that I wished to be a lawyer or some kind of a law enforcement agent but of course they were just phases in a life of a confused adolescent. However, I must say that I have been and still am an aspiring writer. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing like this at all. Ironically, though, I ended up as a physiotherapist. Yeah. So much for those literary attempts. You see we are living in a world where fairness can only be expressd by being unfair to all. Yes, I’m still human!

And so here I am trying to live life with utmost perfection because people tell me to do so. Well, not exactly. I mean they don’t actually tell you right on your face that you have to be the epitome of a perfect human being. They just make you feel that you have to and when you don’t they will disown you or make you leave the planet without any notice which makes me really sick but you have to do it sometimes to live harmoniously with the rest of the Homo Sapiens which makes me even sicker.

Of course, I am not perfect. No one is. And just like you, I am a sinner too. I’m not proud of it but I am not ashamed of it either. Afterall, we all are. The only thing that counts is that my mistakes are all worth it. Let’s just say that my perception of perfection is jaded. I neither believe in good nor in bad. I only believe that people do things because it either makes them happy or it is necessary. Twisted minds.

Going back. It’s not easy to be perceived as Maria Clara when you’re actually not her, the real her. As you know, Maria Clara, as they say, is an epitome of a Filipina – religious, timid, submissive. In a patriarchal and religious society like the one that we’re living in, people expect a lot from women and treat them less than they treat their chromosomal counterpart - men. This not only means that we’re still in planet Earth because, as I have said earlier, the only thing that translates fairness in this world is by being unfair to all but it also proves that I am normal. I don’t need a straight jacket then. That’s good.


I have read Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo, Rizal’s famous novels. I happen to meet Maria Clara as I flipped through the pages and I began to visualize her - a pretty, timid yet fierce young lady clad in an 18th Century Filipiniana. For most who are familiar with the Filipino culture and tradition she is a ghost from the past, an imaginary remnant of what used to be a then Filipina. They would often say that her image as reflected in the modern Pinay is dead just as chivalry is in the modern world. That I have to disagree. For me, she is here. She is in me and the rest of young Filipinos with out there. In fact, she is you. She is that half naked woman in the FHM. She is us.

I would often hear conservatives complain about how tormented the modern Pinay has become, about how modernism destroyed our virtues and our way of life, about how westernized we became. I think they’re all wrong. They cling into something which they barely understood, on someone in which they patterned their idealism that is unfortunately an alien to them. They’re all hallucinating or maybe they’re too preoccupied criticizing the rest of the humanity that they failed to know her beyond those perfect gowns, those charming eyes, those enigmatic smiles, those little acts of spirituality, and those flawless demonstrations of old virtues. It’s a bit ironic I know for people not to understand her when she’s there all along trying to make them see what she really is. It’s a classic example of how we see things according to what pleases us, of how men impose their hopes unto something leaving the whole story behind unrevealed because they’re just to scared that it might bring the whole system down. Kinda like Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code without Tom Hanks of course.

We are her in every way. She’s not just a character in a novel. She is the novel. Maria Clara is us. She is what a Filipina should be - an individual. I think this is how Rizal wants us to be: To think independently, to act according to our will and not according to the rules that others set for the rest of humanity, to fight for our rights and die for it if necessary. Her past is our present and her story is happening right now. She was born out of sin, out of a grave mistake. Her real father was a friar who raped her mother inside a confessional. OK we don’t know much about the exact demograhics of priest violating their vows. This is not about them. I don’t believe in those creatures of earthly sanctity anyway. Holy snakes in a sheep’s skin. Yes, I do believe in God but I certainly do not believe in religion. I don’t believe in anything too complicated enough to contradict itself. I sometimes don’t believe in myself. I’m still waiting for that God particle in the Big Bang Theory.

Where was I? OK so we are the old Maria Clara. We break rules, we follow our desires, we face our fears, and most of all we want change. We leave old beliefs for the better, for the more appropriate and acceptable one; we cross barriers simply because we want to see what’s on the other side; we explore because we thirst for experience and knowledge; we dream and we hope because we know that out there the possibilities are endless. At some point, we reinvent ourselves not because we want to change the world but because we want to see the world from a different angle. Sometimes, we try to conform to the rest to be accepted but most of the time we stand out because we are different. We are a little bit of everything. We can be these submissive, timid creatures in a minute and we can be these fierce, independent, rational individual the next. Our strength has been put to test by time, by numerous EDSA Revolutions I must say. Our talent and flexibility are evident in almost all parts of the globe. We give life and we nurture kids who became dignified member of this society like no other. We have been and we still are the catalysts for change (and maybe so is Barrack Obama). We are special not just because our complexities differentiate us from others but because we are women challenged by the modern world and most of all, we are extraordinary because we know we all are. Do they all know that fabulousness is our ethnicity? Now Pinay, go and spread the word!

Welcome 2009

It's 2009! The Year of the OX. Am I right? I'm not really into those Chinese years or whatever you call them. All I know is that Dinagyang will be a blast this year. It was last year so it's safe to assume that it will be. Of course it will!

New Year's eve is still the same. I mean it was raining! Ok just drizzling. Nothing exceptional happened during the celebration though. Last year's celebration was actually more fun. Are you kidding? I had New Year in Boracay with all those fireworks and the romantic ambiance I almost committed suicide right there and then! But not getting hitched is less of my worry now. Well, I'm still having the time of my life right now.

Eah's wedding will be this Saturday and yes I'm the commentator! I dunno. I don't want to be rude but really I wanted to turn down the invitation because as we all know I hate weddings. They're all cheesy and I don't wanna drown in a sea of extreme phoniness (Now I sound like Holden again). On the second thought, Eah and Jude are my good friends and I've never seen her since she moved to California so I'll do it for the sake of friendship and all those "sisig" times and those dates where I always portray the role of a third person on the wheel.Huh?!

I was on a texting mood with Joy just this morning. We talked about lots of things - career plans mostly. I missed her. Haven't been in touch for awhile. We're both busy. OK She's been busy and I'm always trying to pretend that I am. lol!

I'm still looking forward to the book that Charlie promised me (Hey Charlie! Are you there?) and also looking into some Zafra books. That Jessica girl is now living inside my skull! Hahaha

I know I have to have breakfast with Melrose and Dee. Chat with them for an hour or so before they both end up comatosed after a long night of pestering people from the East. I used to do that. I'm now glad I'm out. It's slowly kills you and well pestering people on a daily basis can be very let's say boring.

Have a new blog title. It sounds funny and a bit sarcastic just like me. Oh I forgot it is me.

By the way, I'm an inactive Friendster member now. Almost. I now frequent Facebook. Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg for that:)

Cold Morning with J D Salinger

I woke up late today. It's cold outside. I don't wanna say freezing because obviously it's not. It's just a bit cold and I hate days like this. It makes you wanna stay in bed a bit longer. I wanted to spend few more minutes with my Disney pillow which by the way I can't sleep without. But that's a case to case basis. Of course, I don't pack my rather old and disgusting pillow with me on trips. That would be very immature.

So I was there feeling the cold air touching my skin when I realized that it was almost 9:00 AM. I have to take a shower and get ready for my daily brain-draining routine. I slept quite late last night. In fact, I had to find an excuse to get up at 3:00 AM and read about Holden Caulfield from J D Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. I had to stick with my "empty my bladder" excuse to wake up and catch up with the chapter I last laid my eyes on. I must've fallen asleep trying to picture out the characters in the book. I guess I somehow managed to chuckle while I was halfway through my REM. I love Holden. I almost see myself in him. Sarcastic, a bit of an ass, the kind who see things in a totally different perspective. Well, I may not have been kicked out of school but I can sure identify with some of the details in his life. I too have failed people just like him. People who expects a lot from you. I just don't get it. It's so annoying when people start to feel sorry because you didn't make it to the top of your class when you yourself don't give a damn about it. The odd thing is that you didn't asked them to expect anything from you and I'm pretty sure that I haven't promised them anything. So, why sweat?

I wasn't sure if was it my bitter childhood, my too complicated adolescence or my extremely horrendous adult life that turned me into a breathing example of sarcasm and irony. All I know is that I used to be this timid, less opinionated girl who basically cares about nothing but her small not-so-ravishing world. My parents must've thought that I'm some kind of autistic. But they like it that way I guess. They thought I was some kind of a gifted child or something. Well, the news is I'm absolutely NOT! I used to be a nonexistent being just like the rest of the people in this world. The kind who by just mere coincidence you can tell that they're willing to kiss ass. Well, I guess things changed a lot. I just don't know if it's for the better or for the worse but nevertheless I know that I'm better now. I can feel it.

I' m almost done with Salinger's book. I almost missed lunch because I'm quite obsessed with it. Lib and Charlie were both right when they said that I will like it. Like it is actually an understatement. I'm thinking of writing a review about it but on the second thought I have to finish the whole book first before I can do that. Hey, I want to give some justice to Salinger's work. My work may not be as good as his or worst it may not pass his standards but I want to give it a shot anyway. It's a free country they say...do whatever pleases you!

Mark and Beth's Wedding

Mimi and JJ - Post wedding Party @ Club 21

Mark and Beth

Mark, Raymund, JJ and JV

Mark and Beth

JJ, Razzi, Mark, and Raymund

Beth with JJ and Raymund

With Kenneth, Beth, Mark, Mimi, JJ and Raymund

no..he's not the groom!

Stephen and Lovely's Baby Gabby

Trophy Girlfriend

Well..well...well. I'm breaking my silence once again. I can't say that I've been busy because obviously I'm not. I've been mum because I just feel like slacking off a little. You know just to keep my sanity anchored. It feels good to know that I'm a normal human being again. Did I mention that I left work already? Yeah. It was a rather short stint as a nocturnal and annoying creature. I guess I just grew tired of pestering people from the East on a day-to-day basis. Whew! Now my circadian rhythm is getting crazier than ever. Can't sleep at night! Grrrr!


Trophy Girlfriend

Just to get my mind off the recent trauma-inducing news about terrorist attacks and other bloody and not-so-exciting news, I was able to concoct a new topic for my sort of debate-with-myself moment. What if I'll be given a chance to be a trophy girlfriend? What will I do? The answer: Nothing! Because basically that's what trophy wives/girlfriends do ---- nothing! Technically, you can't consider spending some serious cash on Channel pumps, LV purse and the whole Gucci collection a career right? Not to mention all the rejuvenating, renewing and all egocentric/self-pampering treatment that these women can think about. It's brain deteriorating! Even if say an international business honcho will fall in love with me, head over heels (which is impossible!), and would suggest that I should stay at home and buy all the stuff that his money can, I would still build a career of my own. I don't know but even just the thought of being a "trophy" makes me feel so uncomfortable. Well, aside from the fact that I'm not exactly a trophy" material (I mean look at me. Do I look like I was ripped off a magazine page?!), I value independence a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Women are suppose to be submissive and they're suppose to let their man take care of them. I clearly understand that but that notion is so yesterday. It'll be nice if the only thing in the world that you can worry about are your split ends and chipped nails but wouldn't it be nicer if you'll be addressed according to something that you've worked hard for? I mean there's really nothing wrong about being called as Mrs. X but I think Miss Janice the therapist or Mrs. Jane the doctor would be great. I have nothing against trophy people. I'm just not them and I don't have any plans whatsoever of morphing into one...not now..and not in the near or far future.

Something to laugh about

Lynn, our dedicated QA, and a good friend of mine shared a video about a ventriloquist and his puppets...It's on youtube...I haven't seen the whole collection yet...just viewed and laughed at 2 of them (Achmed the Terrorist and Jingle Bomb) which starred the terrorist/made-in-China skeleton puppet Achmed. Still have to view the two others... They're hilariously witty!

There's another series of video though that made me laugh so hard but you have to understand the local dialect to be "connected". They call it Toto Goes to School (also in youtube). Learned it from Raymund. hahaha!

One more thing. I'm on facebook! It's not that I'm sort of omnipresent in the online community but I was "recruited" by JJ and Mimi to join. Love it there. Better than any social networking accounts. Which by the way reminds me that I'm still a Multiply moron! I used my gmail email address though for this particular account. (jingbusil@gmail.com).

Rex Navarette sampler

Clips from Hell Pinoy 4

Maritess vs the Super Friends (by Rex Navarette)

Calypso and Jack @ IT

sailing to nowhere

Bevs with Bernz and Ginalyn

Melrose by the "treasure" chest

hmmmmmm...? How about ghosts?

Pirates invade Callbox

Team Networking a.k.a Team Nutristar

Eric, Vincent, Roger as Calypso, Cielo, Amy, Luz, Bernz, and Andre

Jeff and Melrose

The BOYZ: Roland, Jeff, and Albert

Dee and Melrose

Orange, Honesty, Dee, and Melrose

Melrose and Andre

Jeff as Capt. Jack Sparrow

I'm Happy! Or am I?

Being happy, in my case, is not a normal day-to-day occurrence. I have to exert extra effort to be able to laugh or giggle nowadays. It's a luxury I can no longer afford.

Sometimes, I can't even recall how it feels. But I guess this day is kinda special...I'm happy! Well, actually minutes ago I was so down that I was compelled to text Happy (my friend)...I guess her name is so infectious that it had me thinking...I should adopt it every now and then.

Why am I happy? I dunno. Or maybe I do know but I won't tell you. It's something that only me and my unstable self understand.

I found the long-lost Oinky pig that I thought I somehow threw away. I'm just glad that I found it. It's not just a stuffed animal sitting on the corner of my room...believe me...it's more than that. It reminds me of a lot of things...of my strengths, my weaknesses and of everything that comes in between.

I'm happy because my friend, Dana, will tie a knot soon and so is my good friend, Eah. I'm happy for them but more than that I'm just happy I'm not the one who's getting married. I dunno but I think I am starting to embrace reality...I'm starting to get the taste of single blessedness and I'm afraid I might like it.

I'm happy because I've been wanting to be happy. I like it. It keeps my feet on the ground...reminds me of my human side. You know how hard it is to be perceived by the many to be strong and independent? The sad thing about it is that they sometimes tend to see things from a superficial point of view that they often neglect the possibility that you're a person too...you get hurt too just like the rest. But it makes me feel happy when I am faced with a series of unnecessary heartaches and occasional melancholy. It slows me down. It makes me more in touch with my self...the one which is devoid of defenses...just me..the real me.
And oh...Rex Navarette had me laughing...so each time that I feel like I need a really good reason to laugh out really loud, I listen to this guy.