...and then it went kaput.

To Whom It May Concern,

So I'm back to planet Earth after a month-long stay in Fairytopia. The transition from fantasy to reality is not as easy as what most people think. There's too many painful truths to realize and so many good things to set aside. I was about to say let go but I'm still hoping. Although it's kind of a long shot really. It's as if my ephemeral euphoria has finally come to it's end. Just like every good movie, it has to end, the credits have to roll and people have to leave. Nevertheless, all the memories that we both shared will be etched and preserved somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain.

It was some kind of an early Christmas wish granted. Despite the fact that I abhor the season for it's phoniness, I am somehow convinced that it has this peculiar magic that keeps us hoping for the best. It worked in my case. Seven years of wishing, hoping, and only-God-knows-what else. I got more than what I bargained for. And it's good enough for me.

Now here I am sitting idly in a dimly-lit room contemplating, searching for answers, trying to diagnose each and every move. Truth is I'm just looking for excuses to think about you and the times we had together. I don't exactly know why I have to pretend that I have moved on when it is indeed evident that you've totally won me over again for the nth time. Perhaps it is my subconscious that urges me to protect myself from probable self-destruction. Maybe because deep within I know and I am certain that it is only you who can see right through me, who can ironically make me happy and induce pain and well by the way things are right now can drive me really crazy.

Seeing you again after a long long time is a gift and having you even for a while is something that I would trade the whole world for. I don't mind missing the entire planetary revolution whenever we're together. In fact, I'm too mesmerized to rationalize things. I would probably have a hearty guffaw on this years later but this is entirely true at this very moment.

Sometimes you make my heart pound so hard that I almost forget to breathe. It is cheesy and this isn't me but there's something about you that triggers my brain to shut down and sends my nervous system into panic.

I can just watch you as you sleep and not think of anything. Sometimes I have to poke myself or touch your hand to remind me that you're indeed right next to me. I've been skeptical about happiness but merely watching you and feeling you next to me clearly define all sorts of emotions that were then alien to me.

I'm sorry if I seldom say a word. I can't seem to form a phrase when I'm with you. It's as if my neurons voluntarily shut themselves down. All I wanna do is to look at you, observe you, feel you for I want to cherish each and every minute spent with you so that when you leave I can play all those memories over and over again. You made me happy in a way that I could not possibly define. It seems that when I'm in your arms, the only thing that I am capable of doing is to giggle like a child - devoid of any fears and of miseries. And as I lay my head on your shoulders, I can hear your heart beating faster and faster. And it's as if it's playing a lullaby, I slowly sink into a deep slumber as I listen to each beat and rhythm.

But those were memories. Something that I can only hold on to. Something that could make me smile. Something that would remind me of you...and of the joy you twice brought into my life. For that, you'll be permanently etched on my ventral tegmental area.

Thank you so much for the memories and the times together. I hope that I'll see you again in the near future...until then.

Always and Forever,
Janice

Wanted: Brain for Lease

I had one helluva of a month. As to the details of why and how, I prefer to keep mum on that but I can give you a quick peek on the recent happenings:

• My editor was on the verge of slitting my throat last week. She's been patiently asking for the write up that she assigned to me couple of weeks ago. Can't blame me. I was somewhere between stratosphere and well...heaven for weeks and ranting about other people's abode was the least thing on my list. The euphoria continued for several days until my publisher gave me a call and with her most persuasive voice urged me to email my story that very minute. My brain was in a state of voluntary slumber and squeezing all the ATPs in my system didn't help much. Couldn't do much but hope that my ed won't turn into Jeff Lindsay's macabre master Dexter. Luckily, the thought scared the hell out of my tired and unusually lazy neurons and they finally worked. And although dog-tired, they were able to come up with a not-so-bad 753-word write up which will occupy 4 pages in the next month's issue. Truly, nothing beats slavery. Come to think of it. Without slavery, The Great Pyramid of Egypt or Manchu Pichu would be non-existent. Ah..the wonders of bondage!
• THE Friend kept calling me "nerd" as if it's a Nobel Prize for being able to map his brain out. hahaha. It's either he likes the idea of being with a nerd or he wants to become a nerd himself or he just likes me and it just happened that I am a nerd. I am inclined to believe on the latter but then again as I always tell myself before jumping into a conclusion (which by the way the "normals" are so capable of doing without any sort of difficulties whatsoever): never impose your hopes into things. So I have to entertain possible reasons and confuse myself. I like confusing myself. It keeps my sanity intact.
• Speaking of "nerd", Am I really a nerd? By definition, a nerd is someone who although having a technical or scientific skills is introspective and generally introverted. (Thanks to Wiktionary for this one). Let's go check. Have scientific skills ? Check. Introspective? I guess check. I've been the contemplative type since my pre-operational stage (in Piaget's stages....Psychology..duh!). Introverted? hahaha positive. I'd rather have coffee with Jane Austen or Salinger or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle than participate in a tequila body shot. Sorry guys :(

Here by Me...

I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here
I’m sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

x2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

Letters from the box

I am a letter person which means that I prefer stationery and pen over e-mails and IMs but I don't send snail mails to random people. Hell I don't even send greeting cards to my sisters. There was this one time in my life though that sending mails became a staple part of my daily routine. That was long time ago and I guess I don't have to do it now since he's here but not for long.

But an old friend...yes THE old friend sent me a letter once..and it reads:

Janice,

In this far distant place
I still see your face
The look in your eyes
And that smile I just can't replace.

Through the day and through the night
You're always on my mind
I think about our last days together
How our hearts intertwined.

I miss you so much and love you unconditionally
I'm counting down the days
Until I'm holding you next to me.

When I see you I'll hold you
And never let you go
And cherish that moment as the day grows old...

to be continued.....love yah...sorry I can't email you....

Love yah Janice,
J

Note: This letter has been on my box for quite sometime. How old is it? 7 years. Now, it's time for you to take an intelligent guess. haha

And this was what I wrote for him:

In the sleepless solitude of the night
Memories of you are still vivid in my mind
Raindrops fall from the sky
Just like the tears that fell from my eyes
The very day you said goodbye

At first i thought it was a pure coincidence
But now i realized how fate makes difference
I've hated chance for being so greedy
I should have met you quite early
How i wished time stopped running that Sunday

I can't forget how you swept me off my feet
Was it the potion you've spilled over the meat?
Or the spell you've cast that week?
Who would not fall for a guy so sweet
Like the gentleman Leopold and the angel Seth

I don't know the reason why i love you so deeply
I'm sure that I'll find it out one day
It doesn't matter if the search would last for eternity
Then i prayed for 1001 ways to show you how much i care
But all i can do is tell you that I'll always be here

No oceans no seas can come between us
Though we are thousand miles apart
You can always count that it's just you here in my heart
For it is in your arms where i truly belong
So i wouldn't mind waiting for you that long

I don't want to hear the promises that you can't keep
Because i don't want to curse you with these lips
I hope I'm not asking too much in return
Just come back if you can may it be five years after or soon
For i missed you so badly even we talked over the phone

Thank you for the love and the time you've spent with me
And for the bliss of loving a stranger for four endless days
Still I can't believe that someone like you
Would dare to love a nobody that is me
Maybe this is what people call "meant to be"

They may say that this is wrong for they would never understand
That here deep within, far beyond make believe...we found love
From now on until forever I'll be yours have no fear
For you are my life...my soul...my everything...my dear

Forget the Wishlist....One Bucket List entry down

You can forget about Austen, Dickens, Chaucer, Christie, Garcia Marquez, Coelho, etc.....I just had the best Christmas gift! EVER! If you have read my Bucket list post (that was way way back Triassic period..hahaha) you've probably read about an item that says: MEET AN OLD FRIEND FOR THE LAST TIME. OK that's pretty scary. I'm not dying, am I? But yeah...I've finally met an old friend...no THE old friend again after 7 (or 9 years.....this argument is still on the Court of Appeals as we speak...ahaha). And have I mentioned that I fell in love with this guy?...as in the kind that makes you think that you're entire nervous system disintegrated that it suddenly functions independently defying all the standards you've set for what you're looking for in a possible genetic donor for the mini you. Now that would make head-over-heels in love an understatement! Enough of those mushy stuff! I'm starting to get really dizzy! Ewww!

So OK I've been dreaming, visualizing. and mentally orchestrating the "scene". I've always imagined it as a melodramatic one just like those heavy ala Kristine Hermosa's Pangako Sayo teleserye scenes we're so used of seeing in Pinoy TV (well of course with just me swimming in the pool of my own salty tears) but it wasn't like that instead it was more of awkward than dramatic as I always suspect it would be considering that we've both cried, exchanged some really cheesy conversations over the phone, and well....occasionally write poems for each other (Yes I am very much capable of such cheesiness!) but there wasn't any tears or any angina attack or panic attack for that matter. It was like one of those feel-good moments after watching a really good movie. A damn good one.

And while sipping my last cup of flavored coffee for the day, a smile escaped my unusually silent lips. Actually, I've been smiling unconsciously since last night. It's not that I was swept away once again it was more of good memories flashing like a cycle of bitter-sweet slide show in my head. Then I thought: How many people have met someone online, fell in love with him, cried over him for years day after day, and be able sit with the same guy after 9 years sharing stories about almost anything that baffles our now mature minds? How many people can say that they're friends as in friends (no phoniness involved, no bitterness whatsoever) with the same guy who first crushed their innocent heart? I guess this is it....the secret to real happiness...a life devoid of grudges yet full of willingness to understand and care for others..but then again I'm not a saint...so sometimes when emotional turbulence hits me like an unexpected meteor storm I just simply breakdown and hide in that tiny imaginary comfort zone that I have created for myself pushing others away from me because I don't want them to become a victim of my catastrophic self-destruction. But for now I am in a state of semi-idiopathic euphoria. Let's leave it at that..if you don't mind :)

P.S.: I wish people will experience the kind of happiness I'm feeling right now. I believe that we are all entitled to experience such lovely feeling even just once in our whole lifetime. Tip: don't look for it....it'll just come to you like an epiphany...or a Eureka moment.

Christmas wishlist

Christmas isn't exactly the best time of the year for me but when the thoughts of presents flash in my greedy mind...I'm ecstatic! The thought of nicely wrapped little something from random people on my Facebook and Friendster and...well...my contact list.

Well here's my wishlist for Christmas 2009 (Clue: You have to raid a library or bookstore to have these):

1. Jeff Lindsay's Dexter (All 4 of them)
2. Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
3. Frances Hodgson Burnett's Little Lord Fauntleroy and/or The Secret Garden
4. Bleak House and/or Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
5. Nathaniel Hawthrone's The Scarlet Letter and/or The House of Seven Gables
6. Any of Agatha Christie's works
7. Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River
8. J.R.R. Tolkien's literary masterpieces
9. Love in the Time of Cholera and/or Memories of My Melancholy Whores / One Hundred
Years of Solitude
10. Any good reads...No Twilight Series or Harry Potter series allowed...but Lemony Snicket's work are more than welcome :) ta-ta!
(more to follow....have to munch some sweet corn...haha!)

Defying Copernicus

It was Nicolaus Copernicus who postulated the heliocentric theory for the Solar System but it seems that he's wrong....it's this man - Channing Tatum! He's hotter than the sun and yeah huge enough to draw every woman's attention and force them to orbit around him [swoons]. I bet those eyes can cause a supernova to explode. Let there be a massive nebula then.

Neurotoxins (as of 5:45 pm)

Ever since I was swept away by Duke (Channing Tatum's character in G I Joe: The Rise of Cobra) , which by the way happened yesterday [sighs], I can't seem to get the four letters roaming around somewhere in my almost empty brain of course along with Duke's don't-worry-I'll-save-the-world-for-you eyes and let-me-rescue-you-my-princess physique [swooning right now]. Oh yeah about the 4-lettered word. No it's not LOVE. Ewwwww! That is so high school! It's NATO! As the somewhat similar to Transformers movie was playing, my mind was busy scouring all the information it can dig regarding NATO until my finally dog-tired neurons gave up. And then just like the epiphany that I've been waiting for it occurred to me that NATO actually stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization that is based in Brussels, Belgium. Further digging (on the Wikipedia not on my brain) made me realize that NATO is in fact a military alliance between European countries that was derivedfrom the treaty that was signed in April of 1949 wherein member states had an agreement to help one another in terms of military defense in times that they'll be attacked by an external force. Hmmm....kinda like a huge and elite fraternity.

I have to say that G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra catapulted Channing Tatum to superstardom. Although, we have seen him dance, act, and attempted to mesmerize us in CSI: Miami, Coach Carter (opposite Samuel L. Jackson), She's the Man (with Amanda Byne's), and Step Up (where he met his wife...yes he's married to Jenna Dewan...the ballerina-in-training in the movie) he remained to be in the Abercrombie and Fitch guy status until he became Duke in G.I. where he became the center of every woman's universe. That's just some of the movies that I can recall. I don't exactly intend to narrate his entire filmography here. I'm not his publicist for god sake! But if any of those films fail to refresh your memory of his charm well then there's always his Georgio Armani ad that will forever remind you of his...well...six packs?

Let's not forget how hot Sienna Miller looked in the movie as the Bloody Baroness. She's hotter in brunette than in her usual hair color. I must say she's smokin'!

I spent most of my time last night almost in the state of catatonia while watching Discovery Channel's The Science of Sex Appeal. Not that I wanted to get some. OK It's a total lie. Who doesn't want to be sexy and attractive? That's why we go to the gym and endure all those DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) that unfortunately not even the most expensive pain reliever can facify. Don't be such a hypocrite! We all want to look good, don't we? Oh yeah...they said that the area of the brain responsible for falling in-love is the ventral tegmentum. If you don't know where that alien-sounding part is feel free to borrow your friend's brain and study it for let's say a couple of hours. Just assure him that it'll be quick then call Dr. Lecter for help just in case you have Anatomy issues in mind. I bet you don't wanna do that so why not read this carefully and let me save you from future incarceration.

• Ventral tegmentum is a group of brain cells located in the midbrain. They are responsible for producing Dopamine, the body's natural methamphetamine. Dopamine has this euphoric effect which makes it as the common target site for street drugs and other substances such as "dip". Researchers who have dedicated their lives and careers decoding attraction and all those mushy things you've learned from watching too much Nicholas Sparks-inspired movies conducted a study at NYU where they recorded MRI images from test subjects who I assume have a very good love life (good for them). They showed photos of the subjects' friends and significant other. They noticed that each time the picture of a beloved is shown there is a significant increase in brain activity in the ventral tegmental area (VTA). It's time to break that cheesy I-love-with-all-my-heart line. Why not say "You're undoubtedly etched on my vetral tegmentum. You're my natural high" instead. How about that?







• Still can't locate where the hell this VTA is? Try this - it's located within your brain. Yes the delicate, sophisticated, physiologically designed and programmed mass that occupies your alloy-hard skull. But if you think you don't have one (brain) don't even bother to try mapping the seat of love since you won't probably find someone who'll fall for you anyway. If that's the case, I guess it's imperative to assume that you haven't, won't, and will never fall in love NEVER EVER so why sweat?

• Alone? Want to fake that natural high minus the dope? I suggest you read Nicholas Sparks. He'll sweep you off your feet, drive you mad, make you cry, and well...compel you to reminisce all those sweet moments. Opsie! Too much Dopamine here. gtg before my head explodes.
  

Vacay Pics

A night @ Hobbit House

Kia's having fun with the yellow glowing ball

Devoured by a shark @ Ocean Park Hong Kong

Kia overseeing HK @ Ocean Park

Kia's castle @ Disneyland

Waiting for the parents

with a rather famished Pooh

Princesses

@ Tomorrowland

with Donald Duck

start the day with Mickey and Minnie after all this is their abode

Formidable couple..all-time fave

Let's go and hitch a ride on Mickey's train!

Nostalgic Monday

It's Monday and I have this idiopathic urge to redundantly listen to old school "Tunog Kalye" hits by some remarkable bands that ever walked the face of Pinoy music such as Eraserheads (Did I mention that Buendia is hotter these days...like 100 degrees hotter...OK he was hot to start with...whatever! They say that the sun is dying now I'm starting to think that maybe we don't have to worry because Buendia is scorching enough to provide us all the heat that we need to preserve human life here on this planet. OK that's enough! Bottom line is he's HOT! There must be something rejuvenating about CABG - coronary artery bypass graft. If you don't know what it means I suggest that you listen to Ligaya instead)...oh where was I..OK...yeah like Eraserheads, Rivermaya (back when Rico Blanco sang my all-time favorite Balisong), Siakol, and Parokya ni Edgar (not that they disbanded or what but they're a living legend!).

I must admit that amongst the popular OPM alternatives, Ang Huling El Bimbo was THE song to remember....magkahawak ang ating kamay at walang kamalay-malay na tinuruan mo ang puso ko na umibig ng tunay...love unspoken...this is what the song is all about.

Parokya ni Edgar's Maniwala Ka Sana made me laugh. It's as if it was written for the sole purpose of reminding me of a long lost friend...[laughs]...nasira na yata ang ulo ko sa kakaisip sa 'yo kahit saan tumingin mukha mo ang nakikita ko! pero bakit para kang naiilang, ako'y iyong iniiwasan? ako'y nahihirapan wala namang ganyanan!...from friends to a wanna-be lover to not-so-friends at all. This I can relate to. Honestly.

You can't win at everything but you can try - With a Smile, Eraserheads. This is my favorite line. I feel compelled to smile whenever I hear this...it's a sweet song...not a single soul dared to sing this for me though...[sighs].

Di naman ako manyakis tulad nang iba pinapangako ko sa 'yo na igagalang ka sagutin mo lang ako aking sinta'y walang humpay na ligaya...excerpts from Ligaya by Eraserheads...men will do everything to get your attention....In fact, they'll even spit fire or cross the English Channel to win the woman of their dreams...[swoons]..men...men...men...they fall really hard!

Nobody's made me feel this way before; you're everything I wanted and more - Balisong, Rivermaya. This is my all-time fave! Swear will do anything to be this guy's everything and more....synopsis: a sweet and really emotional gentleman fell in-love with a friend who doesn't even have an iota of idea...HD kumbaga! Not High Definition moron!...Hidden Desire that's what it stands for....a sad love story I must admit.

Because it's Sunday and I'm bored...

Don't be alarmed if oneday you'll see one of these

someone who hates me deeply decided to erect a billboard just for me

I'm the new Emporio girl....out Zeta-Jones!

A one-man show...one great artist...one stunning model...lol!

Andy Warhol was right when he had this in mind...

now tell me whether or not you recognize that girl in the picture....nah not me...the other one!

being watched by people at a daily basis is never easy

need a search warrant or what? should I call CSIs?

Her Royal Hotness and the Stellar Geek..great combi!

torn by time...

is it just me or....this is not Yoko Ono!

draw a picture of me...draw it perfectly...

Kiara's first ad....mum and dad will be so proud of her...hahaha

poster mania: now guys you can either browse forever or buy one!

somewhere in Mexico where I became a one-hit wonder...believe me it wasn't my singing that catapulted me to 15-minutes of stardom..it was something else...shhhh!

flipping the pages of the eternal book...you saw Maria Clara...or was it Tandang Sora?

My Lab Duke is so popular even Paris endorses his new barking album...bark bark bark!

Victoria's Pick for BFFs of the Year: Dee, Kofikrumble, and Burrito!

I told you I am a superstar in Tokyo.....

see? even Giselle chose to wear my face!

Channel Surfing

I was sick last week end so I was compelled to sit in front of the TV. They say that watching too much TV causes obesity but who cares it's a rare opportunity considering that I've been working my ass for only-God-knows-how-long. But it seems that being catatonic with the remote control on your hand is not that bad after all because I've learned that.....

• Malaysia was once called Malay. It was only after Singapore became a part of Malay that the name was changed to Malaysia (they took the SI from Singapore). Prior to that Singapore was a British Colony.
  
• There are 30 muscles that make up a cat's ear which allows them to move their ear up to 180 degrees. They have extra sensitive auditory nerve that has 30,000 more nerve endings than yours.
  
• There are actually people who have dedicated their lives and profession to time travel. They are determined to break the time-space continuum with high hopes that someday we can be at both places at the same time.
  
• The light from the sun that I see each time I look up to the sky is actually the light that was emitted by the sun 8 seconds ago.
  
• It takes 7 weeks to process and ferment a Belgian beer.
  
• Taylor Swift is hotter in brunette but I still like her nerdy yet sweet look in You Belong to Me.
  

Another Day in Someone else's Uterus; Another minute in my twisted brain

• It's August and I'm proud to say the pre-August Syndrome is now weaning off.On it's final stage actually.
• Today, we've learned that Reyn is preggers (again!). The long wait is finally over! Hope it's a boy. They'll give him a perfectly out-of-context nick like BMW perhaps? Ah! This is just one of the few reasons why having been blessed with less creative parents rocks! Kidding :) Kudos to you guys!
• Well, it seems that the place where I work is a fertile ground indeed. Momzie Babette is also preggers (again!...[louder this time]) after giving birth to a beautiful baby boy which they named, as I suggested, as Josh Benedikt. Better think of a good name for this one...just in case they'll need my help on the nomenclature part.
  
• Another preggers news: My sister MJ is...yes you're right pregnant and we hope that's it's a boy. Haven't thought of a name for their baby but I assume it has to start with an "A". Name of her two extremely adorable kids: Annika and Allyzza. Think. Think. Think.
  
• Last preggers news (promise!): Eah is preggers. Now that's a rather archaic news...which made me think that it shouldn't be classified as news but...lemme see...a history-in-the-making I guess. She'll be due this September. It's a girl and she made me chose between Nichole and Hannah. I picked Hannah. This has nothing to do with Miley OK?
• I don't exactly know why these moms and mom-to-be find some sort of refuge under the shade of my clouded ability to conceive funny-sounding yet sophisticated names for their off springs but I have been THE perfect go-to person for these lactating moms.
  
• Adjunct to the above-mentioned phenomenon, Nay Adora, a co-worker as well, named his 4 -month old son Joshia Andrei (got the Joshia from Mami Ched and Andrei from...who else could that be...moi!).
  
• I'm planning to learn (for the nth time) how to strum my favorite OPM song - Alipin by Shamrock. But then again I realized that I have been planning for a year or so yet nothing productive happened. Never had the time and the patience. Excuses...Excuses. Reminds me of Rico Blanco's Antukin..."Kung gusto may paraan kung ayaw parating may dahilan."
  
• It was after I watched a feature from National Geographic (My Music Brain) where they studied cerebral perfusion-wise the brains of some famous musicians, Sting in particular, that I had this immediate urge to learn how to play the guitar. The said study showed that those who play one or more musical instruments tend to have better memory retention capabilities than those who never play anything at all. Does playing a multi-colored xylophone back when you were like 4 or 5 count? If not, then that's a very sad news for me. Never played anything in my life. Well, that explains my not-so-sharp memory. Or could it be the amyloid beta? Let's just hope for the better.
  
• Do you know that the nearest star to Earth except for the Sun of course is the Centauri? Yeah I bet you got that one right. But which Centauri? There's like three of them. They said it was the Alpha Centauri which is approximately 4.37 (forgot the exact digit but I think this is it) light-years away from the Earth. Alpha Centauri is a binary star (actually it's a triple star) which means that there's 2 (nah 3)of them - Alpha Centurai A and B (and C)- but they look like a single star to the naked eye. Recent studies showed that the rather dimmer Proxima Centauri or Alpha Centauri C is closer to Earth at 4.22 light-years (hope I got this one right this time...crossing my fingers now). So that makes Proxima Centauri the nearest star to Earth except for the Sun....Brainiac!
• You're probably wondering why in the Earth I mentioned the Centauri in this discussion. I happen to bump into my Science teacher back in my Elementary years (don't ask the exact year...believe me it was like long ago...like Triassic Period long ago). Anyway, she was the one responsible for feeding me with such geeky infos which include not only the Centauri but also involved some nice-to-know facts like the Ayers rock in Australia (hope I got this one....crossing my fingers...remember I don't play any musical instrument at all!). Then there was Irene who posted a comment about stargazing on my Facebook note. Not a violent one but it pushed me to reminisce those brainiac years. Awesome!
• Speaking of Ayers Rock or Uluru as it popularly called in central Australia (now I remember...Eli Buendia's Ligaya helped a lot...swear!) is a sandstone rock formation which is known to change colors. It was postulated that such change in color depends mainly on the kind of light on different times of day or year. That's the only thing I remembered about Ayers Rock. I'm not going to compete in Jeopardy! or Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? so I have the excuse to know less.
  
• An intern once told me that there's a seat of hope somewhere in the brain (theytraced it to Brodmann's area 8 - frontal eye fields or the Guenon). Don't ask who the hell is Brodmann because I can't tell you anything except that he had this thing for brain mapping and out of perhaps boredom assigned numbers to different gyrus and sulcus according to their function. Wonder if he studied his own brain for this one. Whatcha think?Gyrus and sulcus are by the way the hills and valleys of your brain. A single gyri looks like what Dr. Lecter ate at the latter part of Hannibal in the plane which he shared with the curious boy). Enough of Lecter lecture Janice! Go back to planet Earth!
• If there's a seat of hope then there's the Reward and Punishment Center. Amazing huh?! The Reward Center has been mapped to an area called Islands of Calleja (No you can't find this in Guyton!), named after a Spanish doctor. It is located within the temporal lobe and is still a part of the limbic system. The Punishment Center, on the other hand, is located near the Aqueduct of Sylvius, also a part of the Limbic System. If you found yourself confused and if these words sound foreign to you, you may now turn your computer off. Otherwise, you'll experience cerebral combustion. Hurry before it's too late!
  
• Ever had a hard time trying to avoid someone but they still pester you with their Hellos when you're with your boyfriend in a public place? Worry no more! I have found a perfect excuse for that. Just pretend you don't remember them at all and tell them you have either apperceptive or associative prosopagnosia but never try the developmental prosopagnosia spiel because unlike the previous two which can be secondary to a brain damage developmental prosopagnosia is congenital!
  
• Dizzy? Nauseated? That's normal. Now your brain is half-baked. Perfect for Dr. Lecter's welcome party. Now go and prepare your lobes to be devoured!
  

Last time I checked....

• I'm single and very much available.
• I despise pineapples on pizza and on any other dishes (it complicates the taste).
• I don't like hot beverages.
• I love teas! Especially the green one.
• I'm writing for a local magazine.
• I'm 27 (which makes me ancient).
• I prefer flip flops over stilettos. They're comfy!
• I a little picky when it comes to men. Remember it's my child's other 23 chromosomes if I get lucky! So pick a good one!
• I talk to myself when I'm pissed.
  
• I hate men who stares at my "assets" a lot and talk about them like forever.
• Zafra is my religion.
• J.D. Salinger is one of my faves.
• I don't like Harry Potter. He never seem to grow even an inch.
  
• I never read/watched Twilight. Too much cheesiness will send me into coma.
• I love Apple juice, apple pie, apple strudel with cinnamon.
• Love Victoria's Secret!
• Lost 15 lbs in the last couple of months but gained 5 lbs (thanks to the one who feeds me every 30 mins or so).
• I discovered that Megan Fox has these oddly-shaped nails which are not too hot!
• I would choose lip gloss and loose powder over heavy make ups.
• I am into blogging and reading other people's blog.
• I can be a good shrink...really.
  
• I don't watch Filipino movies but i want to see some indie films.
  
• I'm into taking online quizzes right now. Just to burn some time off.
  
• I'm a Gemini which gives me an excuse to be a bipolar. The perks of the duality!
• I'm sweet. I know I am.
  

Me in Text

I was near downing with a boredom that was never before felt by anyone ( of course I'm just exaggerating) when I found a series of online quizzes which made my day worthwhile...and this is just one of the few reasons why I stay online for a very long time :p

Take this one for example. It's like me in text. Sometimes it scares me that your whole personality can be summed up to some random words that can be pretty lethal but quite true about you anyway....and here's some:

The Week of Freedom: Gemini 1 May 25 - June 2

You can’t stand restrictions and aim to keep your freedom at all costs. You believe there is a wrong way and a right way of doing things and will stick up for what you believe in. One of your strongest weapons is laughter or ridicule which you do not hesitate to pull out of your formidable verbal arsenal. But you are forgiving and tend to give second chances and will not quit valuable relationships easily. You are a high speed player who gets annoyed with slow responses, you are bright, perky and alert, but can come off abrasive. You tend to get stressed easily and lash out with irony or sarcasm. You have quick impulses and a fertile imagination and are constantly dreaming up new plans or schemes – but sometimes you tend to forget pressing matters such as paying the bills. In your lifetime you may leave enough unfinished projects to occupy a dozen people and not meaning to you often break promises. You are emotionally volatile and not at all shy about verbalizing your discontent in fact you can become a constant complainer. You are a loyal partner but tire of routine and often need a change of scene. You are not above emotional manipulation and turn on the charm when you want to get your way. You have a high sex appeal and few can resist your charm. Strengths: Witty – Charismatic – Technically Gifted Weaknesses: Tyrannical – Manipulative – Complaining. (uhuh?!....perfect!)

One Hell of a Ride!

I was with Noy Noy and April last night. We decided to catch some testosterone-filled flick after an erratic week at work. What else can bring out all the testosterone in you than gigantic robots fighting each other and some really hot chick that can make you drool right there and then? Yes Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen it is!

Amidst the heightened gastronomic delight that I was on with my favorite apple-raisin-cinnamon strudel (some people prefer popcorn and chips I or should I say we on the other hand beg to differ!), we noticed something odd about the movie...and here's our conversation:

Me: Are we in a wrong room? Cuz I feel like we're watching Apocalypto (this is at the prologue of the movie where ancient people...oh I hate that word!...were running in their painted bodies as they were clasping some spears as if they're going to a pre-civilization war or something).

But as soon as Her Royal Hotness lit up the screen, I was relieved. Yes this is indeed Transformers. I felt like my dormant other Y chromosome was just awakened by the sight of her. Whew!

Noy: Is that party within the campus? Of course, It's a movie!....what are you doing? Megan Fox is waiting (for their online date)! You just made her cry. I'll kill you (men...men..men).

Prior to that...

Me: Ah! The Law of Conservation of Energy. Is it Newton's? I think not. Sounds like Einstein's Relativity Theory.

April: Hahaha! Physics? Miss Sulleza will be proud of you.

Me: (on the scene where they have aircraft carriers all over the screen where some freaky-looking robots plunged into the ocean to check on Megatron). Look there's Davy Jones! Is this Pirates of the Caribbean? Where's Jack Sparrow?!

Noy: They should have thrown him (Megatron) down near the Philippines. It's the second deepest right? (Is he referring to the Philippine Deep? I don't get him sometimes but who cares? It's nice to know that there are some breathing A people around).

Later....

April: Now this is something like National Treasure. They're going around looking for signs.

Me: Or Angels and Demons!

Noy: Haven't seen the phones they're using in the movie yet.

April: It's because they transform!

Me: This is now The Mummy (the scene in Egypt).

Before that....

April: Where the hell they get those bandages? (wrapped on Sam's left hand).

Me: They teleported with a first aid kit!

April: Now they do have flashlights. Each one of them.

Me: They brought that one too!

Near the conclusion of the movie....

Me: Have you seen her nails? It's awful!

April: (after a few seconds when Megan flashed her Frenched-tipped nails which fortunately survived the mechanical holocaust) Yes you're right!

Noy: How did you manage to see that?! (looks puzzled)

The credits are now showing on screen.

Me: I told ya it's Michael Bay.

Noy: And they also have George Lucas?! (as a producer)

Me: It's not cheap to make all those cars and jets transform you gotta have $$$$...lots of 'em!

The Verdict:

The movie was like a collage of all the movies I've seen. It's like an expensive Scary Movie. It's a movie consists of several movies where there are more robots than humans. So this is what happens when machines dominate the world...pretty scary! Glad Megan was there to keep us all entertained. She did a great job...just some minor flaws with the nails though.

More paranoia coming up...

I received a text message from my ed last night while I was in the middle of my 3-hour self-imposed peril. To make the former statement comprehensible to all. I was at the gym for my 3-hour program despite the fact that I was on the verge of bursting into tears while trying to grasp some extra air as I carefully execute the hardest of all exercises in my program - the declined abdominal crunches - and did I mention that I was having...no make that...I still have that DOMS (delayed-onset muscle soreness). Phew! I can feel my muscles go wacko! I can't even breathe without feeling that excruciating pain that makes me swear not to eat fatty and carbo-packed foods again.

Going back, I received a text message from my ed. She was asking if what's my favorite charity and I went like uhmmmm....(like a total moron). Finally, I replied: "I was once a member (not technically since I never received an ID from them) of Greenpeace Southeast Asia. I'm not involved with any charity or any specific organization right now but I would love to join the kind that helps special children." Before that, I can hear me and my other self having a heated argument inside my head. The first one wants to join an organization for cancer patients because as she rationalizes it, my mom died of cancer but then the other me kept on saying "You have a better potential helping children with special needs because you once were special. Actually, you still are. You just don't realize it. People just don't realize it because you seem normal to them but deep down you still possess those autistic traits which are only evident when you're reading or writing that's why people...." End of discussion. I smashed the formidable duo before they can say another word and start a nuclear holocaust that would extinguish all life forms.

But the charity text wasn't the end...just this morning, I received another message from my ed. She wants me to write the cover story for the August ish. First there was the 3-page centerfold which I coined as "unfamiliar territory" and then a cover story! Whew! The last one caused me a week long insomnia. This one I guess will definitely obliterate REM (not the band! rapid-eye-movement...if you're a sleepy head, I'm pretty sure you didn't miss this one) from my system. But as a part of my masochistic act, I said yes to my ed.

Cookin' another online-haven

I've been in an insomniac state for a week now. I don't exactly know why. Perhaps it's my hormones messing up with me again. They always do that. Not a very unusual happening for me. And so I was there, trying to count sheep, bears, ants and who-knows-what-else just to keep my mind away from the hustle and bustle of my wonderfully chaotic life when a brilliant idea (I'm not sure if it's really brilliant but hey I just need a positive adjective to lighten up my depressive mood) - Why not create an online notebook that would contain almost anything about my profession? It's like an online notebook. Hence, I dubbed it as my online PT notes click here to browse ---> myonlineptnotes.

It's not much. Well actually it's still empty at this point but I am gathering everything that I can recall from my 5 years of dedication (uh...I think that's not the right word) to my studies (now I'm laughing really hard). As to why in the world did I concoct such idea? The answer is still hazy. But I must admit that I was drawn to the peculiarity of the idea. Nah! Here's the real deal...I just want my students to pick a little of my not-so-brainy brain and to...say...immortalize my notebooks which I discovered just recently that the pages transformed from a pristine white ecru.

Contributors Page Dilemma

I received a text message from my ed today. We were asked to write something for the contributors page. It's more of describe-you-self-in-90-words kind of thing. Well this is what Miss Jane Doe has to say about her erratic self:

A rabid Zafra follower and a self-confessed Victoria’s Secret aficionado, Janice is a physiotherapist by profession and a blogger by heart. Although she’s been into the media circle since she worked for The News Today as a desk editor and as a writer for the 2007 Iloilo Yearbook, she admits that writing for this month’s home feature (Touched to Perfection) is one of the toughest assignments she ever had. “I haven’t written anything about homes because I don’t exactly know what to do but I took the opportunity anyway. I like challenging myself. Plus I’m excited to be reunited with my TNT family!” says Janice who has been blogging ever since she went into sabbatical writing-wise.

As if I really know how to write about homes.....whatever!

The vid that would send Lady Gaga into hiding. Exclusive!

This one is an amateur vid of my intoxicated unica hija (my intern). Lady Gaga will definitely go gaga over this one. Have fun!

Hope the Ed won't kill me

I just emailed my contribution for the July ish of Mezzo. I'm not sure if my ed will like it 'coz honestly, I think it sucks. Have I lost my writing prowess? Nah! 'Coz I have no writing prowess in the first place. lol! But I'm pretty sure I followed her instructions - no names and not more than 800 words. I kinda failed on the latter though 'coz all in all my article is made up of 830 words but I am confident that it will be less than 800 soon when my editor cuts all the crappy things I wrote. It'll probably end up with 300 words or less. Oh no! But it was the best that I can squeeze out from my almost atrophied brain. I haven't been writing for months..uhhh...make that years and coming up with a 3-page article on a glossy paper and perhaps on the centerfold is just too much for a wanna-be writer whose works are not worthy to be reckoned. I have to say that once again I'm exposing my meager reputation to the public to be whacked (again) by some critics. Criticism is good right? But the thought of being a subject of public scrutiny is technically debilitating. Believe me you don't want to go out on the streets again after being whacked it's as if you're walking naked with grade 4 decubitus ulcer on almost every bony prominences. It's painful. It stinks and most of all it makes you invisible in a not-so-good way.

But hey! too late for all those egocentric concerns. I'll just have to wait for an email from my ed which says: Rewrite everything or change this one or find a better title...or worst - YOU'RE FIRED!

Everything in 5!

Here are my top 5 picks of almost everything in the face of this world:

Best Reads:
1. J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye
2. Jessica Zafra's Twisted Series
3. Bob Ong's Stainless Longganisa (this one is for a thriving writer...like me? hehehehe)
4. Dan Brown's Angels and Demons
5. Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird

Best Careers:
1. Writer (i told ya)
2. Neurologist
3. Psychiatrist
4. Chemist
5. Photographer

Favorite Authors:
1. J.D. Salinger (I like the first person approach)
2. Edgar Allan Poe
3. Jane Austen (of Pride and Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility)
4. Jose Rizal (for Noli and El Fili)
5. Jessica Zafra (hail the master of the universe!)

Worst People:
1. Paris Hilton (and her cadaverous look)
2. Women who kill their unborn child
3. Men who regard themselves as the lord of the universe
4. Those who regard physiotherapists as masahista or manghihilot
5. -----this space is still vacant----- should you want your name to appear here, contact me.

Reasons why you should stop watching the local news:
1. Very seldom you can find the truth in it. They're either exaggerated or biased.
2. The Kho-Halili scandal. It turns us all into preening voyeurs.
3. They keep on showing gory videos of dead people, human wastes floating somewhere in the previously-clean-now-the-unofficial-dump-site of people we know as squatters, and children with colostomy while you're having a scrumptious meal after a long day at work.
4. It's predictable - movie stars (who just had a boob job, broke up with who, hooking up with who, just had an abortion but denied it anyway, Kris Aquino, more Kris Aquino...pft!), PTBPO as in Pinoys To Be Proud Of (it means Charice Pempengco...Charice and more of Charice. Also includes Manny Pacqiuao and Aling Dionisia) politics, EDSA 100 raised to the nth power, more politicians doing a great job on this and that, politician marrying a top anchorwoman...great! the list goes on and on, redundantly.
5. Your electric bill is killing you, engulfed almost 50% of your monthly income.

Best TV Series:
1. CSI (this includes Las Vegas, Miami and NY)
2. Wire in the Blood (aired on Hallmark Channel)
3. NCIS (aired on Foxcrime Asia)
4. House (yes! the one with the sarcastic doctor and his unorthodox ways)
5. Medium (stars Patricia Arquet)

Worst Pick-up Lines:
1. "Your dad must have been a thief. He stole the stars and put them into your eyes." (this one makes me cringe)
2. This one goes like this:
Guy: "Can I have your number?"
Girl: "I don't have a phone"
Guy: "I can give you mine"
Girl: Slammed the door.
3. "What's for lunch? You can order ME if you want."
4 and 5. ----still waiting---- so don't ever get it wrong or else you'll see it here...yes your own word right here.

Worst Movies:
1. Chapter 27 (stars Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan). A biopic about Mark Chapman and his assassination of the late John Lennon. Why it sucks? Watch to see why this is on my top list.
2. Angel's and Demons (a film by Ron Howard. based on a novel by Dan Brown. Stars Tom hanks and Ewan McGregor...no this is not a sequel to Broke Back Mountain). Why it sucks? Tom Hanks is a terrible Robert Langdon. EWan McGregor is too hot to be in the Vatican. Ayelet Zurer made you wish you spent your time in a salon instead. Yes she's the funny-sounding Vittoria Vetra from CERN in the movie.
3. Da Vinci Code - Why it sucks? It's 2 counts of first degree murder! They killed both Langdon and Brown. Poor me.
4. House - this has nothing to do with the arrogant doctor and his sarcasm. Why it sucks? This is a supposedly horror movie which didn't scare me at all. Nothing to be scared of in this movie except for the movie itself. If all movies are made like this one, the cinema industry will forever perish in the fires of hell. Plot is weak. The actors are even weaker as if they all have MS. Don't watch it it's not worth your time!
5. An indie movie which fortunately enough I can't remember the title. It's about a gay husband, his sexually-deprived wife, and of course the man that they (both the husband and wife) shared. Why it sucks? It stars people whose name are not worthy to be recalled but who are willing to take off their clothes to satisfy your id. Although it deals with real family issues (like lack of sex for example), it's too much for the Pinoy audiences. I don't think that I know someone who can do what they all did in the movie (I mean plot-wise). Hey, I was just invited by the PR people to watch the movie...ah Troika. That's the title. The perks of writing I must say though I wish the perks do not include watching butt-naked people.

Some of the hundred reasons why you should be depressed.

I am having a terrible time battling with my depressive episode (it's sounds clinical when depression is said in this manner. Don't you think?). So, I am inviting more and more people out there to join me in my quest by pointing out some possible reason why you should be melancholic as I am.

1. Angels and Demons (the movie) almost made you cry because it fell short of your expectations. You feel like they murdered Dan Brown right in front of you. Yes you can even smell the blood. Seeing Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon almost caused you a Prinzmetal angina attack. As if it was not enough, the girl who played Vittoria made you wanna pee every ten minutes. Then you saw Ewan McGregor in a habit. You fainted.

2. You go to your favorite salon to get your monthly hair spa. You noticed that every guy you came across with were sporting a straight anime-like do. Some influences from the Koreans, you muttered. You sat on your beauty chair. Women of all ages were sporting a familiar bob. Then your hairstylist smiled and said "I know you want to have your hair done like Katrina. Some men came here to get that Hayden look."

3. You're having your dinner at home, a special one with your favorite dessert and some wine because after all you worked really hard (this day in particular). You turned the TV on to see the latest news. You're just in time. They flashed a video of a dead body enclosed in a steel cabinet after it was tossed in the middle of the ocean two years ago. You just lost your appetite.

4. You're married to a rich good-looking man for so long. You're living a happy married life except that his philandering caused you your health. You just found out that you have one of those STDs. You called your lawyer only to find out that he's sleeping with your husband and your marriage was a fraud. (this one is a work of fiction. Numbers 1, 2, and 3 are not).

5. You voted for Congressman X last election. You even vouched for his honesty and cause. Yesterday, you went to his office to ask for a little favor. He looked at you and said this in his monotone voice "I'm sorry but I'm still not done with your wife. Try calling back later."

6. You've been working your ass on the upcoming product launching. You even broke up with your boyfriend because he claimed that you do not spend enough time with him. You canceled your 7:00 pm meeting with another client because finishing this project was your main objective. Then suddenly your boss tells you that you're off the team because Miss X from the main office will fill in your shoe. He then gives you the project which you often refer to as "of utmost abhorrence."

7. Your then-boyfriend redundantly rejects every possible option that you've offered to save the almost-4 years of being together. You begged, cried and even contorted your already misshaped personality to cater his need for space and soul-searching. He heroically claimed that he's just not yet ready to commit (now that's really awful). No e-mails, no calls, no messages from him. Then you realized that he gladly entertains messages from "a friend" who fondly gives him all his whims that you cannot possibly afford and tells you that he doesn't like her juggling-guys acts. You know you're not a moron so you think of more swabe ways to deal with things. After all, he already summoned all his minions to make people think that you're the real-deal b*tch. So you tried to OD yourself with some OTC drugs you bought weeks ago. Then something came up. You opted to reschedule the grand finale. ( this one too is a work of fiction. Only 1,2, and 3 are based on facts).

Manic-Depressive

I always suspect that something is wrong with what's inside my skull. After a period of self-loathing (I think after is a bit inappropriate because I still do that even up to this time but with decreasing frequency. Which could only mean two things - either the prognosis is good or maybe I just grew tired of doing the same thing over and over again), I came to realize that maybe there's a truth behind all my suspicions. So I started scouring my clouded judgment and started to look deeper into some self-inflicted issues.

After doing some really grueling research and reading and more reading, I am finally convinced that I am indeed a manic-depressive or as what most would call it a bipolar but of course I'd like to think that it's not pathological otherwise I'll be compelled to sit with my shrink (I don't have one yet so if you're interested please send me your resume) or to pop some elite-sounding pills.

For starters, bipolar is a mood disorder with some episodes of mania or hypomania and some depressive episode in which either of them occurs after the other or if you're lucky enough you experience both at the same time. I haven't experienced the latter, not yet, but I guess I've been through both hypomania and depression. If you're living in such crazy world like ours, who wouldn't? The Koh-Halili scandal and politician on a pedicab are enough to cause schizophrenia. Even the weather is bipolar. That's according to Zafra with some insights from Charlie, Al Gore's angel.

Despite all the researches and the readings, I'm still in doubt if my manic-depressive behavior can be considered as clinical. I mean do I fit in any of the categories? My bet is that I fall in the "hypomanic episode". This one is a bit common to all since it does not involve any delusions or hallucinations. Makes sense to me.

Although it is clear to me that indeed I maybe a bipolar, there's this one thing that baffles me - how come I haven't shaved my head yet? I haven't thought of it. NEVER!

I'm not proud that I am a possible candidate for a manic-depressive personality but if that would explain my horrendous mood swings then let it be. A lot of people have the same personality I bet. They just remained under the radar. Undiagnosed that is. And guess what?! Virginia Woolf, the famed novelist, and Ludwig van Beethoven, the composer, are just few of the hundreds and probably thousands of people who have had a bipolar personality.

Other bipolars include: Kurt Cobain the musician, Patricia Cornwell the crime writer, Charles Dickins (of course you know him), Carrie Fisher the actress (Trinity in the Matrix), Macy Gray (you know her right?), Ernest Hemingway the writer (again), Jack Irons former drummer of Red Hot Chili Pepper and Pearl Jam, Ben Moody of Evanescence, Sir Isaac Newton (now tell me who doesn't want to be a manic-depressive?), Florence Nigthingale the nurse, Ozzy Osbourne of the Black Sabbath, Edgar Allan Poe (no wonder I like his works so much), Sidney Sheldon (the list just got better), Mark Twain the author of Huckleberry Fin among others (will somebody please officially diagnose me now!), and Vincent van Gogh [sighs]...[sighs some more].

Even Jean-Claude van Damme is a bipolar. Does he kick people when his in a manic episode and cry when he's depressed? Just wondering. lol! (I'm having a hypomania episode right now...shhhhh...). and Oh! Don't forget Ben Stiller, Alanis Morisette, and (who else?) Britney Spears. They're on the list too!

Paid THE Martian a visit

I've been in reverse isolation writing-wise and now I'm back (not official yet but I guess this my rise-of-the-living-dead moment). As a part of my contribution to the July issue of Mezzo, I was asked to write something about homes and as a tiny part of that I thought of dropping by my former office to pick up some materials from my former ed...who else but the ever childish and well Martian-like Erly whose profession as a lawyer (not yet but soon he will take the bar exam) still gives me the chills...kidding. You're probably wondering at this point why I kept calling him as "the Martian". Well, here's the story.....

Years ago when he was my ever understanding editor and I was his encoder-cum-desk-editor-slash-writer, he was a little hot-tempered really grumpy 30-something guy the kind that you would vote as the most-likely-to-become-the-Grinch in your high school yearbook (sorry I have to write that...will bring some snack for you next time....my peace offering). So together with Roselle, our really hot marketing assistant, I concocted a brilliant strategy to make this not-so-young fella (sorry again) laugh at least a couple times a day. Before Martian (the complete nick was Marvin The Martian...you know that green guy), there came Osh Kosh (this one is a tribute to a children's clothing brand...gave him that nick because he frequently wears shirts that looked like size 14...nah maybe 12 ...children's sizes of course...clothing which made him looked like a promising lawyer trapped in a kid's body..which is actually weird and funny at the same time). Yeah I know...me and my demented yet creative mind.

I like the Marvin thingy though. Wanna know why? Because each time he turns into this grumpy neurotic ed, I can always color the areas around his eyes black and top it with some green head gear. It usually makes my day and Roselle's day a lot better. Nyahaha. I know you're reading Erly!

Important: Erly is now a pleasant gentleman who still loves to hang out and still enjoys a bottle of cold beer and who-knows-what-else. He's no longer grumpy and hot-tempered but he is still a 30-something Osh Kosh and THE only Martian that I've ever met!

I just learned that...

....reading is far off better or I must say always better than watching it on the big screen. This one is so true with the Dan Brown novels and their movie adaptations. Ron Howard is a good director and Tom Hanks is an accomplished actor. No doubt about that. But when Brown's most riveting novel was played on the big screen, things changed as if I feel a little disappointed by it. I was actually. I don't know if it's just me trying to convince myself that my imagination is far better than Howard's or those of other Hollywood big wigs' or I was just into Brown much that I almost made him invincible. (sighs). I was looking forward to that part where they should have said something about the priest who had a baby with a woman without breaking his vow. It wasn't there. And Tom Hanks can't be Robert Langdon. He's been Langdon since Da Vinci Code but he can never (and when I say never it's always irreversible) convince me that he is a professor of Symbology. I was his fan back when he was this chocolate-eating retard in Forest Gump but lately he constantly disappoints me. I think if Anthony Hopkins wasn't too good as Dr. Lecter he would have been my choice but then again Langdon is always running on the streets and seldom change his clothing (not to mention that he barely takes a shower in the movie) Hopkins' joints will have a hard time filling Langdon's shoes. How about William Petersen (Gil Grissom of CSI)? He looks and acts more like a brainy professor. What the heck! Langdon will forever be stucked in Hank's body in the big screen anyway. Stop whining! Unless you're a Hollywood bigwig and you can invest millions of dollars in the business then you can say something that will change things otherwise all your efforts won't matter. But I must say I find Ewan McGregor a rather HOT Carmelengo. He's too hot to be in that habit...too scorching to be a part of the Vatican. Will somebody please turn the fan on!

....Angelina Jolie is a Gemini! I always worry about being a Gemini. Not that I really cared about astrology at all but sometimes what's written in those horoscope websites as general attributes of such sign is kinda true and a bit uniform to all Geminis that I know (at least). Well, Geminis are always known for their hurricane like mood-swings and their unpredictable and uncanny way of thinking and of course the "dual nature." I always thought I'm some sort of a psycho. Someone who likes opposites and often contradicting things in life. I always thought that I am THE weirdo...the ONLY weirdo out there that is. But things changed since I met a couple of self-confessed lunatic Geminis at work. They're both bubbly just like me but they sure both have the unpredictable and hence often-occurring mood swings that my then-boyfriend often complain about. Plus they too have their need for "moments of silence" and we all enjoy shedding some tears for not-so-worthy things or issues from time to time. Whew! Whatta relief! Now, I feel a lot better. A lot normal. I don't believe much in astrology but pretty sure I believe that there's someone out there who is just like me or maybe who's far crazier than I am.

....I'll be writing for Mezzo, a local lifestyle magazine, for their July issue. I'll be filling 3 pages of the said magazine with everything that I haven't met before in my entire life. Of course, I was just exaggerating. Honestly speaking though I don't feel like I'm THE go-to person for the home part of the mag. I mean what do I know about foyers, porches, furniture, and walk-in closets (except that the latter should be filled with shoes, trinkets, and fragrances..and more fragrances perhaps?) NOTHING! I'm quite nervous about this one but I just can't say no to my former publisher and my once editor plus I know very well that the mag is a good one. Now there comes the real problem. The mag is a blast...the best in the region if you ask me (of course, if it's from TNT it has to be great!)...but I know very well that I am not that good. Sure I've been blogging for quite sometime now but hey blogging is blogging and serious writing is serious writing. I don't want to piss off the people who own such a marvelous abode. It's serious writing and I've never been serious for a while. Yes I've been reading Zafra, Harper Lee, Dante and J.D Salinger but these people haven't written a thing about homes. Nothing that I know of at least. We're done with the photo shoot and the interview which I feel like I really got everything wrong like I asked inadequate questions but it's too late to give up anyway and that would make my oh-I'm-not-the-right-person-for-this speech futile. It's too late for blah blahs and honestly I don't have time for that. My deadline is fast approaching. Time is ticking. Gotta kill some brain cells. Ta-ta!

Why is life complicated?

Imagine a world conceived in peace and harmony. A planet where everything is perfect. A society full of superheroes without any villains. Boring right? It's like playing the Beethoven's Fifth Symphony over and over again until your ears bleed and you end up loosing one of your six senses just like him. At first it would be calming to hear something new. It's like finding that secret hideaway but eventually things will start to feel lame and then you'll find yourself at war with your inner demons trying to keep that one sacred sanity of yours. And then you suddenly had this tremendous urge to end the silence, the goodness, the perfect society you've been wanting to have. But why? Because you are a self-destructive creature. A divine creation who purpose is not only to coexist with others but also to outwit them. You are a masterpiece bound not only to be the greatest but also has the tendency to be a weapon of mass destruction to others. You are human. You make mistakes and no matter what you do to correct your wrongdoings it will forever be etched on your flesh.

They say that everything in this world come in pairs - day and night, yin and yang, you and me, light and darkness, good and evil. And so there's chaos and order...one cannot live without the other. We would never know about peace when there's no war. We would never know what order is like if we've never seen chaos. Life is complicated because it was meant to be like that. Life is complicated because we, the people living it, is. Life is complicated because we want it to be. We want to have fun and be happy and to know what happiness is we must first know what loneliness and sadness really means. So if your life is too complicated, don't panic. Take a deep breath and say....it must be otherwise it'll be boring.